the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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