Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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