It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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