Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
