Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
