My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It was confusing and full of hummus
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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