I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
