I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
So many bounce houses so little time
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize