do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
