I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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