so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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