someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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