ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
