It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
