The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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