Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
