butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
