Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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