ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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