his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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