Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
