You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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