its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
