highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
