I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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