i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Randomize
