Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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