i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
