Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
