He had one of those small greek statue penises
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
