I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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