I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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