can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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