Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
