Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
it's great music for shaving your balls
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
