That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Randomize
