I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
