i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
