And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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