Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
