i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
