Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Shame - the story of my life.
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