So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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