Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
