how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
