she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
