YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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