Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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