so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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