Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
