What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
