I think i peed on brittanys purse
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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